Waiting to Tell the Kids

We want to wait a little while to tell the kids about this baby, but the girls are definitely noticing that something's up with me. I mean, I try to be discreet about the throwing up but sometimes they know. Because they follow me. Everywhere. And as I have so many food aversions lately I have been eating "weird" things that are raising questions. Chips and salsa sounded tolerable the other day so I picked up some tortilla chips while we were at the commissary. "Mom, why are you wasting your money on chips!?" Ava asked in dismay. We never buy chips and she knows there is no nutritional value so she totally called me out. "Umm, well, it just sounds really good today. It will be like a special treat!"

The next day I was eating said tortilla chips dipped in a greek yogurt + salsa + cheese mixture (come on, I tried to get some protein in). For lunch. And that was all. This was obviously not like the healthy lunches I had prepared for the kids at the table with me or anything like what I usually eat so again I got the questions "Why are you eating just chips for lunch?" I tried to explain that I just hadn't been feeling so good for a while so I needed to just eat things that sounded good for my tummy.

So they knew I had been throwing up here and there. They knew I was eating strangely. And then Ava said so matter-of-factly "I know what's wrong with you. You have cancer."

!?!?!?!? WHAT !?!?!?!?

Oh. My. Goodness. Girlfriend wasn't even freaking out. Just "You have cancer" with a hint of sadness. So I quickly went into reassuring mode. "Okay, I don't have cancer. I am totally fine. Remember I went to the doctor the other day? I got all checked out and I am totally good. My tummy's just gonna be feeling kind of yucky for a little bit. But I promise, you don't need to worry about me. I'm not going to feel yucky forever, just trust me that I'm fine and I'll feel better soon, and you'll know soon enough why all this is going on."

Thankfully Ava (and Raina) was satisfied with that explanation and let it go without worry. Then it hit me how incredibly thankful I am and should continue to be that that ISN'T the kind of news we're waiting to share with our kids, family, and friends. There really is a mom right now who's having to tell her brave kids that she actually does have cancer. Or that one of them has cancer. Or any number of other unpleasant things. Praise God for the good health we enjoy every day. Praise God for the safety he provides our family every day.

All that being said, there is something really special about our sweet Lil A. She has such deep, perceptive thoughts and such a strength about her. I can't wait to see how God will use her as she continues to learn and grow in Him.

First Visit to the Clinic

The clinic on base here provides only basic doctor's office type care, so for pregnancy related things they just confirm pregnancy at the lab and then put in a referral for you to get off base care. Tuesday morning I did a walk-in to get a "pregnancy screening" where I filled out a couple papers and went to the lab for a blood test. I was not able to stay for hour it would take to process the test and get called back again to start the referral paperwork, but I did get a call in the afternoon to confirm that the blood test showed POSITIVE. I went in yesterday to do the referral part but the computer systems were down so they couldn't do anything. So, this morning I went in again and finally got the necessary stuff done to set up care. Based on reviews from a local Air Force wives Facebook page I chose a provider that has 3 midwives and 1 doctor, so hopefully it will go well there. I also learned today that TriCare covers breast pumps now, so I may actually get a good one and have the option to pump and store.

So far I am feeling great. A little more tired and more hungry, but overall good. I am drinking water as much as possible and am eating often. As sick as I was in the first trimester of my other pregnancies I am trying to "stay ahead of it" as much as is possible. I have also been specifically praying to remain morning sickness free and feel good this pregnancy. I mean, why wouldn't I ask the almighty powerful God of the universe for something so simple? My skin is also improving and I had an acquaintance tell me Sunday night that I looked "radiant," so hopefully the "pregnancy glow"will apply this pregnancy.

At the clinic my temp was 98.1, my blood pressure was 108/66, and my resting heart rate was 75bpm.

A Visit from Mom/Mimi

My mom flew in from GA this afternoon, arriving around 12:45pm. We pretty much went straight home from the airport to let Cade recharge with a quick nap before heading to the zoo for the late afternoon/early evening. I was dying to tell her our pregnancy news but wanted to wait until we were with Richard too. So when we got home in the evening…

Richard and I were talking in the desk area and called Mom over to have a "scheduling meeting" for the next day. I told her "Tomorrow morning we need to leave for Bible study at 9am. Richard may have to leave early so do you think you could watch the kids while I run over to the clinic on base? I need to get a referral because they don't handle any kind of obstetrics, prenatal care, or labor and delivery on base." She just stared at me for a second and said "What are you telling me?" Then it kind of dawned on her and she held up 4 fingers and mouthed "Four?" with a question mark in her face. (The kids were definitely within earshot.) **Yes, four!**

Man, it was hard to keep that secret for about 6 hours of her being here!

We haven't told the kids yet as it's still really early, but I'm already thinking of how we might tell them. :)

Cheer Camp

Raina and I woke up early to go to Market on the Move. We got a big box full of produce for just $10. Grapefruit, zucchini, cucumber, roma tomatoes, tomatillos. Good stuff that will last us a while. Then the girls had a little (free) cheerleading camp on base this morning.

Second Test

Richard's company has been doing so well that they earned an extra day off work. (Today.) He was out of town Sunday through Thursday so it was especially nice to have him home today.

We spent an hour plus at the library this morning. The kids LOVE hanging out at the library; choosing books to bring home, reading books while we're there, etc. And I'm working on teaching Ava how to use the online catalogue to look things up and then find them around the library.

Next we went to the exchange for me to get some new tennis shoes. I take great care of my shoes so they all look nice but aren't feeling so nice on the inside anymore. It's hard for me to let them go when they still look like they're in good shape, but my feet had been bothering me a little so it was time.

Then we all went through the commissary. We needed a few staple groceries AND we wanted to pick up another pregnancy test. Once we got home I got the kids situated with lunch and then went to do the test. I set a timer for Richard and told him to go read the results when it was time. I stood back a ways behind him and watched his face in the mirror as he read the results. He looked at me in the mirror and shook his head with a smile and said "Welp, it's negative." I could tell he was kidding and he quickly confirmed that it was indeed positive. We laid down on the bed together for moment and talked through the "holy cow" and "we totally got this" feelings.

We're really pregnant! Baby number FOUR is on the way!

Oh my. What if it's twins… ?????

Here We Go Again !?!?

I was driving to Bible study this morning and suddenly I thought, "I think I might be pregnant!" I was not yet late but I just had this feeling. As I drove I decided I wouldn't take a test or anything until I was late. Bible study was awesome and when we got home a few hours later the first thing I did was run do a test (so much for waiting). Those 3 minutes waiting to read the results felt like an eternity but I thought I would just confirm that I was not pregnant and be about my day. Well after those 3 grueling minutes I took a quick glance at the test. It was definitely positive. Not like a faint line, maybe an evap line positive. Straight positive.

This was not planned BUT it also wasn't totally unexpected. But still, it felt like a shock. I started feeling anxious and sick like maybe it was a bad test, etc. I started reading about home pregnancy tests and quickly discovered that a false positive, especially before a missed period, is pretty rare. So I quickly moved into the acceptance phase… Richard was on an airplane somewhere between Oklahoma and Arizona so I couldn't talk to him and just sat with this frustrated feeling of "Oh. My. Goodness." -and- "Woohoo!" for a couple hours.

It was time for Cade to take a nap and I was feeling like I could use one too so we snuggled up together. As he held my hand and I watched him fall asleep I felt so peaceful and excited about the opportunity to be a mom to yet another precious soul. I know God has prepared and equipped us to handle big family life so I have nothing to fear!

Once Richard was on the ground I asked him to call me on his drive home from the airport. I could've waited a little longer to tell him in person but I wanted him to have that drive time alone to process the news. He was not totally against more children but he also didn't think we would really have more. He called me and I got right to the point. He was surprised/not surprised and was pretty quiet on the phone. (He's not a talker when he's thinking.)

I plan on testing again tomorrow or sometime in the next couple days (need to get another test).

Ava's Robot Presentation

In her homeschool group at our weekly morning Bible study, Ava has been working hard to build and write about a robot invention. Today she gave a presentation to a group of ladies and her peers. Proud of her!

Answering questions from the audience

Presentation complete

Posing in front of "John"

Ava's brainstorming map